I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Nothing but good news!

Yes, yes, yes! I finally have some good news for once!! And not only that, but there's A LOT of good things to update on!!
For those of you that have watched my latest YouTube videos, you know that I am currently in the hospital.
I got admitted on December 3rd with 25% PFTs, weight was 103, O2 was 89/90, and I was running a slight fever.
It is now December 12 and my PFTs are 41%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! Unbelievable! That is the highest that my numbers have been in montthhssss. I was so surprised. I am feeling SO much better than when I came in, obviously. My weight has gone up to 106. My O2 is about 96% on room air during the day. It still drops to the low 90's at night.
I got an ultrasound last week because it feels like I have kidney stones, and sure enough, there's some on each side. They're currently pretty small right now and aren't blocking anything, so that's good. I have to make an appointment with the urologist and see where we'll go from here.
My sugars were a bit off and there was a higher amount of protein in my urine so I had to do a glucose test and everything came back normal....more amazing news!! I would have been incredibly upset if I found out that I have CFRD (Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes). I would deal with it and do whatever is necessary, but don't I have enough going on already?
This will be my last stay at Bronson Methodist Hospital. I am being discharged on Thursday and will have my first appointment at University of Michigan on Friday. I am nervous, but I am also ready. I think it will be good for me to be at an adult clinic. It's going to be incredibly hard though. I've been coming here for 18 years. For the past 6 years I have spent countless days in the hospital. Over the past year I have been hospitalized 7 times which each stay being 10 days or more. After all of that, you tend to grow close to a lot of the people that work here. Nurses, respiratory therapists, child life specialists and even the transport and housekeeping people. Heck, I even know the food service just by their voice. I've already had to say bye to some of my favorites. I'm trying to get a collection of pictures of as much people as possible. BUT, this doesn't mean that I won't be coming in to say hi. There's no way that I couldn't. These people are my family. Speaking of pictures, I drew some artwork that will be displayed in the Bronson art gallery so there will always be a piece of me with you all!  Thank you all so so so much for everything you do. Everything from trusting me to take my medications on my own to bringing me candy from the nurses lounge. There's no way I could repay any of you. I will miss you all so much, but this will be a new chapter in my life that will hopefully be just as rewarding. 

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