I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Repetition

There stood a girl.

Her looks fall nothing short of perfection, as others have said. The long brown curly hair and high cheek bones that are fixed with a permanent rosy shade. The little mouth that is filled with loud gestures of that constant, addictive, and adorable laugh that make everything seem okay. Her eyes. Those sharp eyes that have witnessed more than beyond belief. Tears have fallen from them with laughter that would cause the stomach and jaw to ache. Tears have fallen from them with pain that was caused from the constant aches of this so-called body. The thick, dark, and incredibly long eyelashes have been concealed with mascara, but only to be ran down those rosy cheeks at the end of the day. She is not ashamed. She lets her tears fall when things get rough. 

There stood a girl.

She believes in everything. Happiness, hope, adversities, new beginnings, laughter is the best medicine, your family=your life. She believes that she can take on the world, and so she did. One day at a time. One breath at a time. One "breath" at a time. She believed in love. Ahhh yes, she believes in love. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
She believes in nothing. Dark succumbs, pain is second nature, there is no hope, oxygen and morphine is the best medicine. One day at a time. One breath at a time. One "breath" at a time. She believes in love. Ahhh yes, she believes in love. Always. 

There stood a girl.

The fight in her pale, yet strong body is indescribable. The fight is against her body. She is strong, but she is weak. The signs of wear and tear are not entirely visible. The signs of strength are definitely not clearly visible. Her lungs may be fragile, scarred, and torn down, but her heart still remains strong and always will. Scars on the outside are warrior markings against an ongoing war. Someday she will win.
No, she has already won.  



I am standing.

I am not ashamed. I let my tears fall when things get rough. I believe in love. Always. 
Someday I will win.
No, I have already won.  









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1 comment:

  1. Amber GoffDecember 4, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    That is beautiful, cyster! You are amazingly talented and have a beautiful gift! Hang in there; someday CF will stand for Cure Found! :)

    ReplyDelete

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