I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

It will happen

My appointment yesterday wasn't to bad overall.
I was expecting my PFTs (lung functions) to have dropped more than they did because of how I had been feeling.
Weight: 107 (3 more pounds since leaving hospital a week and a half ago)
PFTs: 48% (50% when leaving hospital)

I'm going to finish up the rest of the IV anitbiotics that I have and then I'm deaccessing myself and going back in a month!
I can deal with that :)

We have decided that maybe I have been so tired because of this harsh heat.
"Drink plenty of fluids.
Stay inside.
Eat LOTS of sodium."

Not exactly sure what is causing the low-grade fevers.

At my clinic, all of the CFers sign in and then go back into a door that has a bunch of other smaller rooms that we go into. (They don't make us sit in the waiting room to help us stay away from gerrmmsss!!) Anyways, there was another girl, who is about 13ish, that went back into the door with her mom and when I went back there wasn't any rooms open so they were standing there waiting and the mom said, "This is Shelby, the girl that you started emailing a while ago." I was so lost for a second because we hadn't wrote eachother in a couple months, but then I remembered! I was so surprised that she had remembered my name, (she heard it when I was checking in). The people at the clinic call me the "ring-leader" of the CF pact. They always give me contact information of other CF girls which allows me to get ahold of them so they have someone, just like them, to talk to.
I love being around other CFers in person.

Speaking of which, me and Hannah have decided that once we're cured (it will happen) we're throwing a HUGGEEE party with all of our friends and family and Ilene's and Laura's family and once the party is over, we're jumping on a plane to Hawaii!!!
One day, it will happen.
One day.

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