I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Keeping my fingers crossed.

Well, I'm home!

Last Monday I redid PFT's and they were unfortunately only 40%, which means they only went up 2% in a week. Which is better than no improvement at all, but usually after even a week and a half of being admitted my PFT's go up to about 8-10% in a week and are around 48-50% when I leave. We had already planned on me going home Tuesday. I am feeling A LOT better than when I was admitted, but I'm still kind of weary about the fact that my numbers are the lowest I've ever left the hospital with. I'm currently on home I.V.'s and am going to the clinic on the 27th, which is also my first day of classes! I'm incredibly nervous to see what my PFT numbers will be on Monday...keeping my fingers crossed.
Oooh, and I also got to discharge myself for the first time! Whoop whoop!!

A few months ago I had watched a youtube video of a girl, Lindsey Sterling, playing violin and I instantly became addicted to her. Now, I have always been a fan of violins and have wanted one for the longest time. After watching more and more of her videos I became more inspired to finally get one and start playing. I had showed one of my best friends, Nick, and my brother the youtube video and they became hooked as well. Now, whenever we are all three in a car together we are ALWAYS playing her songs. Nick told me when I first got admitted that he had a surprise for me but had wanted to wait to tell me in person and he finally got that opportunity today. Turns out that he got tickets for me, him, and my brother to go watch Lindsey Sterling in Chicago on October 6th!!! I can't even express how excited I am! It's on a Saturday so we are planning on going up Friday and getting a hotel overnight so we don't have to get up super early..well, mainly for the benefit of my health. I am praying, praying, prraayyiinngg that I can keep up good health and don't end up getting sick right before. It seems like it's that way for everything. I got sick right before this past Christmas, graduation, my birthday for the past 3 years, the ending and beginning of my senior year and so many other important days that I had to be sick on.


Anyway, here's a link to a video of the amazing, Lindsey Sterling.


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