I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Monday, August 6, 2012

"Quick" update.

Going to do a very "quick" update. 

First things first..
My birthday! 
I did it. I made it to the day that doctors say I am lucky to have reached...my 18th birthday! I spent the whole day with my family and two of my best friends, Kayla and Nick. I woke up to purple streamers and balloons covering my doorway. For my birthday dinner I chose homemade chicken quesadillas, loaded mashed potatoes, and homemade vanilla pudding :). One of my good friends Alex, who is an amaazzingg CF supporter, stopped by my house with a homemade pumpkin pie (my favorite!) and hot chocolate. I got A LOT of candy and ended the day with watching movies with everyone.

I went on my Make-A-Wish shopping spree this weekend. The limo driver picked us up at around 8:50 AM. Our first stop was Elderly Instruments where I got my violin! I have been wanting a violin for a lonnggg time. I got one with a reddish tone and the inside of my case is purple..my two favorite colors! I am set up to start lessons soon. Holding the violin in my hands sent such an amazing feeling through my body :). We then went to Barnes & Noble where they surprised me with a bag filled with goodies such as notebooks, a water bottle, bookmarks, a mini John Lennon figurine, anddd some other things I can't remember at the moment. I picked out about 10 books. Next stop; Best Buy. I got my beautiful MacBook Pro along with a light blue case and keyboard case, new headphones, and an Ihome. After Best Buy we went and had an amazing lunch at Logan's. I didn't really eat much because I wasn't feeling that well, but the food was to die for! We then went to TJ Maxx. They built a huge archway of purple and red balloons and had a sign that said "TJ Maxx welcomes Alexandra." They then wheeled up a Nike black and pink bag that had a card and gift card. One of the workers came up to me and said, "If you're really feeling up to shopping, you might want to look at the gift card," so I opened it and it said $500! I was literally speechless. Each of my family members received $30 gift cards also. They gave me a personal shopper to help me get things that I needed. I ended up getting two jackets, a long sleeve shirt, a purple suitcase, socks, and an amazingly soft purple blanket. I probably would've got more, but I was beyond exhausted. After checking out me and my family said goodbye to all of TJ Maxx employees and gave enormous hugs to Katrina and Ginny, who are the MAW volunteers that made this all possible. They were both incredible and have such amazing hearts. I give MANY kudos to them. 

Last, but not least...my health.
About a week and a half ago I started wheezing, which then led to coughing a lot, which theeenn led to a lot of other problems. I began having troubles breathing which rapidly became worse. After a couple days my breathing was so bad that I had become breathless from taking less than 20 steps. My mom called my clinic this morning and they allowed me to come in early. My weight had dropped from 108 to 103 anddd my lung functions were at 20%. There was more than a 15% decrease in a matter of two weeks. My o2 was about 89%, which isn't the worst that it has been...we'll see how tonight goes. I had packed everything because I knew that I'd be getting admitted. I'm in the PICU right now, but I should be getting moved out in about a day or two. Having oxygen and taking pain medications has already helped a tremendous amount. I was able to lay down and take a quick nap, but got woken up for X-rays. I am doing PFT's (lung functions) again tomorrow. 

Ok well, I think that's about it. I'm sorry if I wasn't very detailed and whatnot..I'm extremely tired and have gotten exhausted from typing. My train of thought is a little foggy because of the pain medications. 
But for now, here's some pictures. :)
Take Care. 

Some pictures from my birthday. The rest are on my other computer.

Pictures from Make-A-Wish that I have..there's many more. 

Anddd this is me right now.

1 comment:

  1. Amazing! I am so glad we got to share in a little bit of your birthday fun. Looks like the MAW trip was lots of fun. Hope to hear that you continue to improve. You are such a positive example!