I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Cystic Fibrosis Awareness month!!

Yeup. It's officially the first day of Cystic Fibrosis Awareness month! The walk is only 4 days away!!
I had an appointment yesterday and overall, it wasn't too bad. My weight went up to 110 from the 104 on admission. My PFTs were 45, which is lower than when I left the hospital (51), but it was expected. I'm not feeling completely up to par yet. I'm still extremely exhausted and fatigued. I'm finishing up another week of home IVs and going back next Monday to see how things are.
Unfortunately, two of my close CF friends got admitted yesterday. Hannah had been on Bactrum (oral antibiotic) for roughly two weeks and still wasn't doing better, so she went in. Ilene was doing pretty good a couple weeks ago, and then suddenly got really sick. Her PFTs were 27 yesterday. Our CF is really identical which is weird because it affects people so differently, PFT wise I suppose. Me and Ilene usually get admitted together. Our PFTs are always identical. Last time we were in together (March) our numbers dropped the same amount and went up the same amount. I think there's something going around that we're all catching though because the same happened with all three of us. We were doing really good, and then BAM! We're instantly sick.

I also have some other news. I entered one of my lastest CF poems into a poetry contest and out of over 10,000 contestants, I placed in the semi-finals! My poem is going to be published in a book called, "Stars in our Hearts." I'm allowed to write an introduction, no more than 100 words, to go on it's own page along with the poem. I finished writing the introduction two days ago...98 words! I'll post my poem and the introduction in another post.

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