I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Long day

So, today was my last day of school. I wasn't excited to be done because of no more homework, hours of awaited freedom from sitting in a small room, or to start my summer filled with parties, boys, and long beach days. I was excited to start my summer and end the school year so I wouldn't have to be surrounded by germs and I can focus on my health more.
Today was awful to say the least. I started running a slight fever last night and it continued on through-out the day. My coughing was nonstop, I was beyond fatigued, my whole body was filled with constant shooting pains. My lung pain got so bad that I was squeezing my side to try and subside it. I started getting around and studied for my government exam. When I was getting ready to head to school my mom wanted to take a picture and I just broke down. This is my last day of my senior year. I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted it to be memorable and filled with laughter. I cried and I couldn't stop. I was JUST on IV anitbiotics less than a month ago.
Anyway, when I arrived at the school I asked if I could take my exam in the office because I had absolutley no energy to walk up the steps, and I didn't want to be hacking up a lung while everyone else was trying to take it. They told me that I could came back next week to take the exam if I wanted, but I decided to stick it through. Luckily, this was probably one of the easiest exams that I've ever taken.

Well...I ended up falling asleep while typing this. I had taken some cough syrup that my doctor prescribed me and it has codeine in it. I am usually spaced out and incredibly tired for awhile after I take it. It is one of the only cough syrups that actually help me stop coughing. I only take it on occassion though because it really messes with me. I feel like a zombie for almost 24 hours afterwards.

Soooo, back to where I left off.
Definitely one of the easiest exams I've ever taken. After I finished, I went to the classroom and handed it to the teacher. I then had to get a paper signed by one of the lunch stuff, the guidance counselor, the secretary, my teachers, and the prinicpal to make sure all my fees were paid, I didn't have any missing assignments, I was passing my classes, and to check if my locker was cleared out. Afterwards, I went back to the classroom and we played pictionary for about 30 minutes until class was over. Annddd then for the rest of the day, this is what I did...Took my friend home, went to the elementary to pick up my little brother and his friend, came home, stayed outside for a little bit with the daycare kids, did a treatment, Ethan (my little brother) and his friend brought me an elephant ear from Riverfest (downtown festival where they have fair food, small rides, a car show, games, canoe races, and booths..happens for one weekend out of the year) ate pizza for dinner, went to walmart with my mom, did another treatment, and then came upstairs and started writing this.
I didn't wake up until around 12ish. I would've slept in longer, but I needed to do a treatmemt and my mom made banana pancakes! I've been craving them for a week and so my mom made them for me. My lungs are more sore than yesterday. Every part of them ache and it's worse when I cough or take a deep breath. I'm more congested. Breathing is harder. I'm incredibly drained, but some of it is from the cough medicine. I don't have any plans today exactly. All I know is that I want a lemonade from riverfest!! Yummy :) There's a senior class party being held by one of the boys in my class that I really wanted to go to, but I don't think it would be the best idea. It sucks, but I need to do my best to stay healthy. On the plus side, my fever has gone down. It's only 98.8. My normal is usually around 98.1. Let's just hope that it doesn't increase!

Here's some pictures I took through-out the day and then when I was laying in bed last night.

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