I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

It's official

Turns out that I didn't have to stay in the ICU...it was just the step-down unit, which for those of you who don't know, it has all the monitoring of the ICU, but I'm still on the regular peds unit. 
While I was sleeping the alarm started going off because my sats had dropped low. I'm not exactly sure of what the percent was, but when I woke up from the alarm going off, it said 88%. Last night I had fallen asleep without putting my oxygen on and when a nurse came in to check my O2 it said 86% which is no bueno. My number doesn't even compare to a lot of others, but still, they say anything under 90% can start to cause damage. 
So yeah, it's official now. I'm getting oxygen at home. 
Like I said in my last post, I was expecting to be upset when (and if) the time came, but I'm not. 
I guess it really feels like more of a comfort. When I start to get sick and don't necessarily feel like I need to be in the hospital, my O2 will still drop and I have to be admitted because of that. I'm hoping that having oxygen at home will help prevent some hospitalizations. I mean, I can do everything else at home..IV's, treatments, pills. The only thing that's different between coming in the hospital and doing home IVs is when I'm here, I'm forced to rest and there's oxygen. I'm not the type of person who is constantly on the run. I like being at home and spending time with my family..a lot. Buutt, I do see friends and will go out to lunch or go to the gas station or Wal*Mart or run errands with my mom...adding all of that up when I'm sick can really drain my body, and when I'm home,  I don't force myself to rest..I should, but I don't.
I have no idea on when I'm coming home. I'm guessing that I'm going to stay over the weekend and redo PFT's on Monday and then go home the following day, but who knows. It's all up in the air right now. 
A student nurse just came in and is going to do an assessment, so I'm out of here for now.
Till next time, 

The monitor that I was hooked up to

My brother who is, believe it or not, 6 years younger than me

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