I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Hoping for a better morning

How I was feeling this morning
Crossing my fingers to feel better!

Texting possibly consumes too much of my life
My Vest!!

Woke up this morning and my whole body felt like lead.
I was exhausted..from what? Nothing. From breathing. Trying at least.
Every day this past week that I have woken up I have felt worse than the night before. Every night it has been harder to sleep due to coughing spells. I'm trying to stay positive and keep on going, but this morning I really didn't want to get out of bed. Of course, that wasn't an option. Treatments, pills. Same old routine. So yeah, not such a great morning, bbuuuut it did improve through-out the day. Took my brother to get his shots and saw a huge bulletin about CF and it put a smile on my face. Not very often do you see CF awareness, especially in small towns. I also got to see one of my best friends. It's always good to see her, no matter how I'm feeling. I sometimes don't like to be around people when I'm not feeling all that well, but she has been there at my worst. For example, in December when I was in pretty rough shape, she came over and sat on the couch with me. We didn't have to be out doing anything, and I knew she didn't mind. It's great to have people like that. We went to one of our favorite gasstations and got slushie Mountain Dews and peanut M&Ms. Yumm.
She came over and we talked about tattoos, people, and maybe someday, if we become motivated enough, getting together and doing extreme workouts everyday.
She eventually left because she has a fire-department meeting. She's kick ass and has unbelievable determination. She's working on becoming an EMT and volunteers on ride-alongs and the fire-department. She did a CF walk for me last year and is doing another this year. She's been working extremely hard to pull it off. I give her tons of kudos.
Since she left I haven't really been doing much. Just laying around my living room and taking pictures with my webcam.
Why not, right? It's pretty chill at my house right now.
Let's hope I don't wake up tomorrow feeling worse :)

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