I'm young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.
At a younger age I was never able to understand most things that were brought upon my life. I was constantly facing new struggles that kids I was surrounded by weren’t dealing with and may never have to. I grew up surrounded by medical terms, doctors, and hospitalizations. I became familiar with medication lists so long that they consumed 3 full pages.
My whole life I have been raised through challenges, broken dreams, and learning to adapt to new lifestyles time and time again. As I began to get older and wiser I learned to accept my fate in life, I learned to face difficulties with nothing but a positive outlook, and I learned that there is no way to change your past, but there are ways to make your present and future worthwhile.
There have been times where I was not able to keep my vigorous frame of mind. In these moments I would feel myself slowly drowning in sorrow, defeat, but most of all, guilt. I felt guilty because, even though I may not have been in the best situation, I was far better off than some people in this world. These are the moments that have helped define who I am. People will hear my infectious laugh during my most difficult intervals, I will have an everlasting smile on my face when all I want to do is break down, and no matter what is going on in my life, I am always putting forth the effort into making others happy.
For me to be able to say that I am satisfied with myself, life, and all of its entities is a wondrous feeling and gift. Every day I fight the odds and live with a mad, passionate determination, which no matter what, will never be destroyed.
I’m young. 18 years old to be exact, but my heart and mind say otherwise.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Student nurses..not a big fan

Found out I had a student nurse today..sigghhh.
I know it's not necessarily their fault that they don't know me like the other nurses. Most student nurses treat me like a 5 year old. The one I have today sat and watched me take my pills which instantly sets me off. I've been doing this for almost 18 years lady..I'm gonna take my pills! Then she was trying to strike up conversation while I was doing my nebulizer..really? I thought the whole point of me doing a nebulizer was to sit there and breathe it all in. And theeennn she asked me if I was going to order breakfast and I said I wasn't sure and she said "well. just let us know when you do so you can take your creon." For those of you that don't know, creon are pills that I take right before I eat to help absorb my food. She kept telling me I needed to take them. I don't have a certain time I have to eat. Oh boy..and the day has only just begun.
I have PFTs (Pulmonary Function Tests) later today to see where I'm at. I'm feeling sort of better. I'm still coughing like crazy, getting easily short of breath, and my o2 levels haven't been as high as they should be. I've been on and off oxygen. Luckily I've been fever free though!
I'm still not sure how much longer I'll be here...Its only been two days, so probably a week at the least.
I feel like doing something creative..reading, writing a poem, drawing...something..soo till next time
With love,

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